Easter Sunday, with the oh-so-cute little bunnies held by adorable children in their colorful outfits,  gives me the perfect opportunity to share something I found funny.  Recently, I read an article about the addition of the word “gigil” to the Oxford English Dictionary.  It refers to the overwhelming feeling of wanting to squeeze or pinch something you find incredibly cute (it’s a Tagalog word, spoken in the Philippines).  I’ve always been a bit embarrassed to admit it, but I experience that feeling pretty often and know exactly what they mean!  Learning there is a word for it made me feel less crazy.  But then I thought, why haven’t we had some word like this before?  The article went on to say that psychologists have actually done some research on this phenomenon, but refer to it as “cute aggression.”  Way to ruin something fun, psychologists!  So in today’s post I’m embracing gigil and sharing some of what we know from psychological research about this giggly experience.  Ok, so maybe psychologists aren’t all that bad.

Cute aggression was first described by researchers at Yale University.  Studies show that about half of all adults have these thoughts sometimes. Fortunately,  rarely do people ever act out these urges, and take a swipe at Bambi!  Mostly, people experiencing cute aggression might clench their jaw, grit their teeth, or feel the urge to squeeze, pinch, or bite the cute object.  Kathrine Stravropoloulos, a psychologist at the University of California, Riverside, recorded the brain activity of 54 young adults as they looked at images of animals and people, some images manipulated to be extra “cute” (big cheeks, big eyes).  For the entire group of participants, cuter creatures were associated with greater activity in the brain areas involved in emotion.  But the more cute aggression someone experienced, the more activity the scientists saw in the reward centers of the brain.  Scientists think that the combination of pleasure in these areas of the brain can be overwhelming to our system, and so the brain starts producing aggressive thoughts to keep our positive thoughts from running amok.  One researcher at Yale, Oriana Aragon describes cute aggression as part of a category of “dimorphous expressions of emotions.”  People who experience cute aggression also tend to be people who cry at weddings or laugh when they are scared.  By balancing a strong emotion with a seemingly contradictory expression, “individuals find a way to manage the intensity of the experience.”

There may be an evolutionary function to cute aggression, as it may help people from becoming overwhelmed and incapacitated by positive feelings of cute things, leading to neglect of caretaking responsibilities.  If you’re overcome by cuteness you might not be able to properly care for the object of your affection, so the brain needs to bring us back a bit.  In fact research shows that we’re more careful in our physical movements after viewing something we find cute. How cute is this:  In two experiments, viewing very cute images (puppies and kittens)-as opposed to slightly cute images (dogs and cats)-led to superior performance on a subsequent fine-motor dexterity task (the children’s game “Operation”). This suggests that the human sensitivity to those possessing cute features may be an adaptation that facilitates caring for delicate human young. This is from a study abstract written by Sherman, Haidt, and Coan, psychologists at the University of Virginia.

So, my urge to squeeze my mini donkeys, squish the face of my kitties, or pinch my daughters is fortunately not considered dangerous, according to the veterinarian, Dr. Laura Meyers.  “Cute aggression responses pose absolutely no danger to the human experiencing them or to the dog or whatever cute thing is triggering the reaction.  Cute aggression is just an urge and doesn’t lead to actual violence.”  She does warn that children may need to be taught not to hug or squeeze an animal too tightly, as it may cause the animal stress and the animal may become the aggressor! So go ahead and enjoy your gigil during your Easter egg hunt.  And hats off to the language of Tagalog for providing a much kinder word for these wonderful feelings of love.  Just know, they also have a word, kilig, which describes those giddy, butterfly-in-your stomach romantic feelings we also can be positively overwhelmed by!

A lot of people, including myself, are feeling “funky” of late.  There’s a pervasive sense of uneasiness that’s common among so many people I talk to.  I’ve been asking myself about it, and what’s become more clear to me is a stress related to feeling extremely vulnerable. Stress from vulnerability most often shows up as anxiety, feelings of helplessness, resentment, anger and withdrawal.  Yup. That about sums it up. There’s a layering of vulnerabilities in our current environment that’s hard to put our finger on.  It seems to be growing in all aspects of our lives and creates a sense of fear around every corner.  If we aren’t worried about ourselves, we’re worried about other people, and we should be. The reality of the many ways in which we, or the people in our community, can be vulnerable is important to name, both to understand it, and to protect those most at risk.

When talking about vulnerability, I think it may be easier to think of it as lacking a sense of safety.  Sometimes we feel unsafe because of our experiences in the past and sometimes we feel unsafe because of a threat we’re experiencing now or fear in the future.  Regardless, when we, as people, feel unsafe, our emotional and physical well being is compromised. According to researcher Chris Drew, PhD, vulnerability refers to “the state of being exposed to the possibility of harm, whether it be physical, economic, environmental, emotional, or social.  It can emerge from an individual’s inherent characteristics or from external situations and forces.” Often these factors run together and create an even more vulnerable situation, as a person may have inherent vulnerability characteristics, which then increases their vulnerability in other areas.  As I describe five general types of vulnerability, think about how these may apply to you or people around you and how this awareness may be affecting you.

One type of vulnerability is physical vulnerability, which relates to conditions affecting your physical health and strength, like aging, disability, or chronic disease.  Also included in physical vulnerability are less direct factors that may lead to being unsafe, such as lack of access to healthcare, proper nutrition, healthy drinking water, exercise, or an environment that causes sleep deprivation or exposes you to toxins or natural disaster threats.  The interaction of these became more clear to me in working in a Health Center.  Often, after a health crisis, people became very depressed.  In exploring their feelings, it’s often a profound sense of physical vulnerability that was creating a deep sense of loss and anxiety.

Economic vulnerabilities refer to insecure financial situations which may happen when you lack job security, have debt, or are over-reliant on a single source of income.  The absence of savings can create immense stress in worrying about unexpected costs.  Other factors that can lead to economic vulnerability may include lack of access to credit, lack of financial literacy, or underemployment, where you’re working in a lower paying job than your skill level or work fewer hours than you need to.  The economy has a lot to do with economic vulnerability, as recessions lead to job loss, lower wages, and lower income opportunities.

Another area of vulnerability is emotional vulnerability.  This relates to feeling insecure and unsafe in relationships, often as a result of a history of trauma or relationships where you may have been taken advantage of. Vulnerability in this area may include difficulty setting boundaries, forming healthy attachments, being overly dependent on others or not able to form connections because of distrust or low self esteem.  Often people who have low emotional intelligence misunderstand or are unable to identify their own needs and feelings or those of others.  This leads to a lot of conflict and stress in work, personal, and familial relationships.

Some people experience environmental vulnerabilities.  This refers to the susceptibility to threats from natural or man made disasters, such as fires, earthquakes, pollution, or hurricanes.  It may also include a lack of emergency facilities or the ability to prepare.  In addition, living near potential sites of pollution or toxic hazards may make one vulnerable.  Housing shortages and a lack of resources in overpopulated or underpopulated areas may also put someone at risk. 

Social vulnerability refers to social factors including discrimination, isolation, poverty and lack of community support that create risks.  This can be a result of being a part of a marginalized group, experiencing language or cultural barriers, lack of educational opportunities, being cut off from family, or experiencing stigma from being perceived as different.  A lack of mobility or transportation can be a huge barrier to job access or socialization opportunities, and living in high crime areas or in poverty can severely limit your access to resources and the availability of opportunities.  Other social factors may include a lack of representation in political processes and a lack of access to social capital in terms of networking connections.

The resources we have access to actually make a big difference in how we can survive when bad things happen.  In reviewing these types of vulnerabilities, there are risk factors and protective factors that are relevant to how vulnerable we are. Risk factors are attributes, characteristics, or exposures that increase the likelihood of being harmed or stressed.  Protective factors are elements that reduce or shield a person from potential harm.  The great truth is that we have control over some of these factors, but others, not much at all.

In reading through these five factors it’s so important to see how they’re interrelated.  Becoming ill may mean losing your job, which may mean losing your healthcare and then potentially not being able to afford proper nutrition or housing.  You may have to move and be separated from your community and social support systems.  Or living in a rural area hit by a hurricane may mean losing your house, your business, and potentially not having access to resources for rebuilding.  Being suspected of a crime may lead to not being able to afford bail, a proper lawyer, and losing your job.  This may mean being pressured to take a plea deal that may hurt your chances of employment in the future.  Or having a history of trauma may lead to anger issues, which may lead to conflict with your boss, which may lead to losing your job and not being able to pay your child support.  Our lives are complex webs of interrelated connections and consequences.  We all live in a house of cards, but some start out with weaker foundations to begin with.  

This is where I get emotional.  Some of the best protective factors that create and maintain resilience have to do with social connection and support.  Having the feeling that someone cares and understands makes a huge difference to how we can rebound from hard circumstances.  Having connections with others makes us feel important and worthy.  It gives us access to more opportunities and possibly more resources.  It gives our lives a sense of purpose and meaning.  Having someone watch out for us and look out for us really matters both physically and emotionally.  We are all vulnerable in some way.  We survive by being there for one another.

I had started writing this blog post prior to Corey Booker’s Senate speech.  I must say I was so inspired by it and it made me even more aware of how important it is that we not just watch out for one another, but speak up for one another.  It made me more certain of how power can be used to help others, but also to hurt others.  Living in fear is not freedom.  Lack of due process is not democracy.  Bullying and threatening is not governing.  We are all vulnerable when we lose the checks and balances on power that guard our safety. We all become more vulnerable when we put our heads in the sand and hope we won’t be affected.   Watching vulnerable people be mistreated is a threat to all of us.  We all go through periods of vulnerability and strength.  It’s up to the people who are currently strong to speak out for those who are currently vulnerable.  This is the only way we create true safety.