Happy belated Quitters Day!  In case you missed it, Quitters Day is the second Friday in January, this year falling on January 10th.  It marks the day according to research that most people have given up on their New Year’s Resolution.  Feel better?  You are not alone in throwing in the towel on your goals.  But research also shows ways to regroup and to continue to support change in the direction of your desired ambition.

In 2019, a research group hired by Strava (a fitness company) conducted an extensive study and found that about 80% of people who made New Year’s resolutions had tapped out by the second Friday in January.  Hence, it has been coined Quitter’s Day with an aim by fitness gurus and coaches not to make fun of those who gave up, but to normalize the urge and inspire people to keep going.  Seth Goden, another change researcher and author of the book The Dip,  coined the term “the Dip,” referring to the point when our initial enthusiasm hits a wall and things begin to feel difficult.  The dip indeed seems to line up right about the time of Quitter’s Day for New Year’s resolutions.  In response to the dip, he writes, we have to decide if our goal is worth pursuing and if so, how we can push forward.

Research shows there are several factors that accumulate to create the dip.  Reviewing these factors helps to adapt and strategize.  One factor is setting unrealistic goals.  In the initial enthusiasm of setting a goal , we often aim high.  However, setting goals that are too ambitious or vague leads to a feeling of overwhelm and discouragement after a few weeks.  Another factor is a lack of good planning.  Without a good plan our resolutions become uncertain in how to act on them and they can slip away in the hustle of everyday life.  Tracking is another factor that can affect our motivation.  If we aren’t sufficiently tracking our achievements and milestones, they are easy to dismiss.  Then there is perfectionism paralysis, where we put so much pressure on ourselves for a big change that we chip away at our good feelings and the change we are making becomes a chore and a burden.  And a final factor mentioned is the underestimation of resistance.  We forget that we will prefer the familiar and that change is hard.  We view the resistance itself as failure.

What to do if you find yourself in the dip?  It’s important to reflect on your “why.”  What is driving your desire to change?  Go beyond the initial thought, the more specific, the better.  For example, if you set the goal of getting fit, perhaps you can make it more precise into “hiking with my grandchildren.”  Understanding your reasons behind your change will help you stay closer to the source of your inspiration.  Next, consider breaking down your goals into smaller, more manageable steps.  Focusing on a far away goal can lead to frustration.  Give yourself wins along the way.  Embrace “micro-habits.”  These small consistent daily steps become building blocks to bigger change.   Having a support system also makes a difference.  Finding a partner or community who share your goal keeps you engaged and accountable.  When we do an activity with others we make sure to put it in our schedule.  Juggling a busy life and trying to stick to a new goal is challenging.  Make sure to plan ahead for your week or even your next day to include the time to engage in your new behavior, even if that time is to track or journal or to reflect.  Building in blocks of time to support your goal keeps it on the forefront of your to do list.

What I personally like about Quitter’s Day is not taking yourself or your progress too seriously.  Change is hard and maintaining change is even much harder.  Adding humor and some lightness is just as important as all the preparation and serious strategy for commitment.  See how to add a little fun into your change.  Why not have a party on quitter’s day?  How about eating chips with a “dip” (sorry, couldn’t resist)? Make a big celebration for a small step accomplished.  Give your quitter voice a name and character and bring him or her along as you go. Count how many times you start and restart your plan or new habit.  The point is that we set ourselves up when we think it will be a solid straight line to make a permanent change.  What we can absolutely count on are loopy and curvy setbacks and restarts.  So maybe instead of such a focus on the goal, we focus our attention and celebrations on the recommitments to the goal! It’s actually rare we ever really begin anything. What we do, so very often, is begin again.