It’s often said that hope is the antidote to despair. But how do we find hope in the midst of despair, when all feels lost and the sense that nothing will ever change looms over us? I did some reading about hope and how to cultivate it. Fortunately, what I found was…hopeful. In fact, hope is not just wishful thinking, but it’s a state of mind that can actually be learned and cultivated.
Hope is a belief that your future will be better than the present and that you have the ability to make it happen. This definition of hope is based on “Hope Theory,” a positive psychology concept developed by American psychologist Charles Snyder. According to Snyder’s research, hope is a blend of optimism and willpower. Though culturally we think of hope as a feeling, Snyder proposes that hope is more of a “positive motivational state” resulting from an active cognitive process. If people think in a way that generates plausible and actionable pathways toward achieving their goals, they can be hopeful.
There are three main components to Snyder’s Hope Theory. First is the goal, or object of a person’s ambition or desire. Goals anchor our hope in a certain direction. The second component are pathways, or a route that leads toward achieving the goal. This also includes a plan for managing and overcoming obstacles that may get in our way. The more pathways we have, the more attainable our goal seems. And the third component is agency. This refers to whether a person thinks they can actually follow their pathway, in short, a belief that “I can do it.”
In Snyder’s model, cognition brings out emotion. People who are able to generate realistic ways to reach their goals are more likely to feel optimistic, energetic, and maybe even excited. On the other hand, if we can’t find a plausible way to reach a goal, we’ll feel pessimistic, gloomy, and frustrated. Emotions, in Hope Theory, are what drive our motivation and problem solving abilities that help us push past what may be getting in the way. You can see how this would create a feedback loop of “possibility moving toward success” or “frustration landing in helplessness”. High hope people tend to have higher levels of overall well being. They report feeling better physically, more resilient to setbacks, and more socially connected. They also report a higher sense of purpose and meaning.
Okay, I hope I’ve sold you on the benefits of hopefulness in order to motivate those who are despairing not to give up. Especially when things feel most dire, when we’ve experienced defeats that are truly beyond our control, it’s so easy to lose hope, clouding our ability to see a path forward or feel a sense of agency. But Hope Theory suggests that despite our circumstances, through our struggle, we can find a way to move beyond the despair into productive action through intentional engagement with our mindset.
Some strategies cited by Snyder may be of help. Recommit to your goal. It may require some adjustment to what the long term outcome may be, but setting sights on your priority will help to guide you. In addition, it helps to have a shorter term objective that will be achievable before the long term goal. It serves to keep you on track and feeling positive. Small actions can reignite our agency. As Brene Brown writes, she responds to despair by “micro-dosing hope.” Another strategy is to put an emphasis on your strengths. What is it that works best for you? What has led to success in the past? This will help with your agency. Another important strategy is to connect with others. Finding support and camaraderie can make a big difference in maintaining resilience and creating positive emotions. Maybe I can’t do it, but we can. Putting like minds together can lead to the creation of pathways that may not have been available when we are on our own.
When we face a big setback, it’s normal and healthy to experience feelings of fear or disappointment. Trying to deny them or push them aside will only serve as a way of disenfranchising us from our ambition and energy. It helps to remember that despair comes from experiencing the loss of something that matters to us. Caring involves vulnerability, and so we need to be careful with our hearts when we embrace someone or something we believe in. It’s important to honor the intention and the efforts we made, allowing ourselves to mourn the possibility we had hoped for. But we cannot let it paralyze us or hold us back from embracing the desire for something better. We need to stay in our humanity, even if it involves the risk of getting hurt. Hope theory is a way to reactivate our intentions and commitments when we feel helpless. It offers a roadmap to take control through an internal shift that is always available to us if we work at it.
I hope this helps.