I completely embarrassed myself in yoga today.  I actually fell over and the sound of me hitting the floor in the quiet space of class turned everyone’s heads.  But in just this humbling way, yoga is perfect for me. Letting go of my usual success oriented expectation is stretching my mind even more than the poses are stretching my body.  Allowing myself to be so bad, and doing it anyway, is actually proving to be so good for me.

I’ve tried to do yoga before, but my inadequacy was such a barrier, I always quit.  But this past year with some hip pain and some tight muscle issues, several people convinced me how beneficial it would be if I stayed with it.  So  this New Years, I vowed to give it a fair try (thanks, Rosa, for the new mat), knowing I would have to change my attitude .  I had to focus more on the process of it rather than the outcome.  I had to let go of my ego and, as Nike says, just do it.  And what I’m finding is that it’s actually really enjoyable to not expect anything other than an authentic effort. In mindfulness, as taught in Zen meditation practice, this state of being is called the beginner mind, being able to be in the moment and enjoy an experience without expectation.

A beginner’s mind involves our curiosity and wonder.  We see an experience with fresh eyes, without preconceived notions or predictions of how things should or will be.  Without expectation we can’t be frustrated or disappointed in how it did not live up to what we thought “should” be. A beginner’s mind frees us up to let things unfold as they do.  

And why is this good for me?  For one thing it ‘s nice to let go of self judgment.  I can try something and make a mistake, fall on my face, so to speak (and actually) without self criticism.  I am finding that I take more risks and enjoy myself more if my inner critic is put to bed for a while.  It also helps me be more patient with other people.  It allows me to let go of my expectations of someone else and work to see them in a new light or to be more open to their point of view or good intentions.  I also find adopting a beginner’s mind helps me to be less anxious about facing challenges.  Instead of worrying about what will happen, or projecting difficulty or failure, I can stay open to taking a first step and engaging in the task as something to learn from rather than something to get wrong.  In general, a beginner’s mindset allows me to let go of my strong need for control and to view challenge as a process to engage in rather than a reflection of something being wrong.

As you can imagine, while this sounds so pleasant, it isn’t easy.  It takes effort to evoke a beginners mindset.  Some tips from the Masters include first becoming aware of your expectations and pre-conceived ideas.  Then, allowing yourself to let them go, or at least put them aside.  Engage your curiosity and try to approach the activity with how a child would approach it.  Notice any “shoulds” that come up or feelings of shame.  Letting go of ego is a big challenge, but also a big relief.  Use your senses to help avoid your thoughts.  How does your experience feel in your body? What colors emerge or sensations do you notice around you? Engage as if you’re doing something for the very first time and awaken to each step of the process, even when doing something familiar.

It’s advised to build this ability by starting with simple things.  Eat your breakfast with a beginner’s mind, noticing every sensation of your utensils, food textures, colors, and tastes.  Or take out the garbage with a beginner’s mind, noticing the smell and the weight of the bag and your steps to the trash bin in the backyard.  By letting go of our “automatic pilot” mode or our “evaluation of success” mode, we can be present and bring to life whatever experience we are doing in a transformative way.

While there are plenty of times I need to be the expert and perform with a wise and intentional outcome in mind, it’s good to balance with some way or outlet in which to be a beginner in spirit.  I find that while I’m still not very good at yoga, I’m still going because it makes me feel good.  I would be robbed of this if I let my performance dictate my participation.  And thank goodness, the teacher doesn’t either.  No one has ever kicked me out of class or refused my entry, although they have checked in a few times to make sure I didn’t hurt myself!

Tomorrow there will be millions of people looking up to the heavens for an astronomical event so rare and unusual it won’t happen again in the contiguous United States until August of 2044.  The planets literally have to align in just the right way.  The shadow of the moon will move along a path across Mexico, the United States, and Canada.  For those lucky enough to be in the path of totality, where the moon completely blocks the sun, they will experience moments of darkness during daytime.  As this happens a collective sense of awe will also follow along this path, bringing a unique experience that some will describe as life changing.

While we feel confident that our science has fully explained the phenomena of a solar eclipse, we are now also studying the effect that this experience has on the people who witness it.  Kate Russo, a psychologist who herself has witnessed 13 eclipses, has interviewed eclipse viewers from around the world.  She notes a similar emotional response in most all of the people.  They begin with a sense of wrongness and primal fear as totality approaches when their surroundings change so rapidly.  Then as it starts, people describe a powerful awe and connection to the world around them.  A sense of euphoria develops as they continue watching, ending with a strong desire to seek out the next eclipse to feel it all over again.

Sean Goldy, at John Hopkins University, posits that an eclipse makes us think outside our normal sense of self, attuning to what’s around us.  This not only includes a connection to the physical universe, but also to the people around us.  A total solar eclipse seems to create connection, unity, and caring among the people watching.  Goldy and his fellow researchers analyzed Twitter data from nearly 2.9 million people during the 2017 total solar eclipse.  They found that people within the path of totality were more likely to use not only language that expressed awe but also language that expressed being unified and affiliated with others.  This included using more “we” words (instead of me) and more “humble” words, such as “maybe” instead of “always.”  Goldy notes the stronger the sense of awe expressed, the more likely they were to use a “we” word.  He notes, “During an eclipse, people have a broader, more collective focus.”

The scale of our “big picture” often changes during an eclipse experience.  When you zoom out – really zoom out – it shrinks away our differences.   Goldy writes, “when you sit in the shadow of a celestial rock blocking the light of a star 400 times its size that burns at 10,000 degrees on its surface, suddenly that argument with your partner or bill on the counter or even the differences among people’s beliefs, origins, or politics feel insignificant.”  Anthony Aven, author of In the Shadow of the Moon, has studied this same reaction throughout human history.  When the sun becomes a black hole in the sky, any differences with our fellow humans can feel trivial.  We are all so tiny compared to the vast occurrence happening around us.  

There is something magical about a shared experience.  Emile Durkheim, a French sociologist, referred to this as “collective effervescence” more than 100 years ago.  Author Adam Grant describes it as the feeling of energy and harmony, a Joi de Vivre, felt when people are engaging in something with one another.  As emotions are contagious, we amplify one another’s sense of awe and inspiration when we witness an eclipse together.

I think we’ve all been robbed during Covid of so many opportunities for collective effervescence.  We were forced to isolate and view one another as potential sources of disease rather than as a collected group with shared experiences.  Perhaps that’s why we’re more divided and quicker to judge and criticize?  Perhaps we need a day of Awe and Collective Attunement.  I propose a National Holiday to join together to witness the eclipse.  Free travel and hotel rooms, stadiums for viewing, and bands to dance to all together.  No Left vs Right, Dem vs Rep, Donkey vs Elephant.  Tomorrow we all are just tiny little beings sitting on a rock flying through the solar system together.  (But don’t forget your solar eclipse glasses, please…). Fingers and toes crossed for clear skies!!