The winter solstice is coming this week and it brings me relief during what is often a difficult time for me.  The anniversary of my sister’s passing approaches and the losses of other family members hits me deeply during the holiday time of traditions.  The darkness brings with it a solemnity I often actually appreciate, but too much can be overwhelming.  That is why the solstice is a welcome tipping point, as I know that the days will be getting longer, minute by minute, day by day.  This pleasant sensation got me thinking about how important it is to have hope and the power of hope as a psychological tool to withstand those inevitable periods of darkness.

In doing a little research on the psychology of hope, I came to realize that hope is very different from mere wishful thinking.  According to the American Psychological Association’s dictionary of psychological terminology (yes, there is one) hope is “the expectation that one will have positive experiences or that a potentially threatening or negative situation will not materialize or will ultimately result in a favorable state of affairs.”  Hope in psychological literature has been described as a character strength; a component of motivation that is critical to goal attainment; a mechanism that facilitates coping with loss, illness, or other significant stresses.  In other words, hope is an active state of mind or an attitude that involves, as one researcher put it, a blend of optimism and willpower.  According to Charles Snyder, a researcher in the area of positive psychology, hope involves a belief that the future will be better than the present and that you have the ability to make it happen.

There are both psychological and physical benefits to experiencing hope.  Higher levels of hope are consistently linked to better outcomes regarding mental health, physical health, academics, athletics, and even psychotherapy.  In one large study of over 13,000 people, high hopers (my term) reported more positive emotions, a stronger sense of purpose and meaning, less loneliness, lower risk of death by all causes, lower cancer risk, and fewer sleep problems.  It makes sense, though, doesn’t it?  If you feel hopeful, it makes it worth the effort to take care of yourself and engage with the world.  But  if you feel there is no hope for a good outcome, why do anything?  And the more you do nothing, the more it reinforces that things are going to stay the way they are.  And this is the exact nature of depression, most often characterized by a sense of hopelessness.

When people lose hope, it often feels that the only way out is suicide.  I frequently hear from very depressed people that they don’t want to die, they just feel there is no hope of feeling better.  The groups of people most at risk for suicide are young people and older people, particularly men.  Research shows that young people, especially when depressed, cannot see past their own pain in the moment.  They do not have the life perspective or cognitive development to understand that life has ebbs and flows and that a future holds the possibility of more control and opportunity.  And older men tend to view life as having passed them by, feeling like a burden, especially as they tend to isolate and become disconnected.  The link between hope and a sense of control is important to highlight.  People of all ages who are oppressed often lose a sense of hope because they have no power to change things and are robbed of a sense that they will gain this power in any way in the future.

Want to know a hopeful thing about hope, though?  It can be learned and nurtured.  Because hope is an attitude and a state of mind, it can be encouraged and even taught.  As a therapist, when I first start working with someone who feels hopeless, especially if they are suicidal, the first step is to give them some hope that the work we do will have some benefit.  For those long entrenched in depression, there are times when I have to hold the hope for them, and ask them to trust me.  We work together to identify what is most important to them and how they might connect to this in some way.  Often people have shut down to trying because they feel like everything they have done has failed.  We start small, with little bits of success, that build on each other day by day.  It can often be the small things that help us slowly reconnect them to a sense of agency and control.  Over time, we work to allow them to see their importance and value separate from outcome and achievement.  Often in this process connecting with other people and with a sense of awe is vital.  Awe reminds us of something bigger and vast, allowing us to connect to the world in a deeper way.

And maybe that is why I cherish the winter solstice so much.  It feels like a living metaphor that validates how just a minute each day can lead to a big change over time.  It also brings me a sense of awe as I consider the cycles of time and seasons that I can rely on each year that are way bigger than me. It is a living embodiment of “this too shall pass.”  Hope is a powerful state of mind.  It is not delusional or wishful thinking.  It is an active attitude that helps us persevere even though we know tough times are coming or are upon us.  Hope reminds us that we can move through something difficult and pursue greater possibilities.  Hope is the fuel for the engine that lifts us up out of despair.  

This holiday season, give the gift of hope to yourself or someone you care about.  If you need it, please reach out to someone to help support you.  And if you notice someone in despair, reach out to them to offer connection.  The worst combination is hopelessness and isolation.  Shared goals and empathic caring are the sparks that light our hope and brighten our spirits during the darkest of days.