In my last post, based on my lovely snow globe, I shared the inspiration about the need to shake things up now and then.  Two weeks later, again I turn to the snow globe for inspiration – but this time about the need to have things settle down again.  After the whirling and swirling of unpredictable activity and motion, it’s nice to experience the calming effect of a gentle return to normal. Watching the glittery white dots drift softly to rest in my little winter world is reassuringly comforting.

After two weeks of eating what I normally don’t eat and sleeping and waking at times I don’t usually do, my body is reacting in some unpleasant ways. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been wonderful to have time out from work to spend with my daughters, who have both been home.  But compounding the break from my routine with some family members testing positive for covid, some anxious scouring of pharmacies for home tests, and a long wait in the cold rain for a PCR test, it has certainly been an unpredictable time in unpredictable ways.  Uncertainty is tiring and stressful.  Even if it’s for good things, like celebrations with people I love, and negative test results, change is taxing. There is something about the return to normalcy after the holiday season that feels good.  Having a schedule to count on helps me get back to feeling a sense of control and order.  My body seems to appreciate it as well, as I get back to regular exercise and healthier eating overall. It certainly reminds me that predictability and structure are important foundations to mental health and overall wellness.

With almost  three years of waiting for the world to get back to normal, it’s no wonder we are experiencing a mental health crisis. We have been through so much uncertainty in large and small ways, living with a constant stream of unpredictability; if we have work at all, where we will be working, who we can be with and where we can be.  It’s been extremely isolating and stressful.  Based on the waitlist at my clinic for mental health services, I can attest to an epidemic of anxiety as a result.  To be honest, who I fear for most is our young people.  Many students who had social anxiety at a mild level have really suffered from not going to school.  Going back in person has been overwhelming and overstimulating for them.  Many are not able to do so, missing credits and failing classes.  I have spoken to several school counselors who are unable to meet the demand for services to address the level of need.  I am seeing children and teens falling through cracks made so wide, I worry it is swallowing up a whole generation.  Parents are so stressed and preoccupied, not knowing what they can do or how to be of help.  Everyone is longing for a way to feel normal.  

But the uncertainty is ongoing.  With variants emerging, and with them the necessary changes to policies, it’s so very hard to keep up.  And for me, there is the ever floating anxiety in the buzz about things “never going back to the way they were before.”  What does that mean? In my field, the shift to telehealth is shattering all the ways we have been trained to engage in our work, upending everything we knew in sudden and untested ways.  Online therapy, texting through an app, and email therapy are all advertised options now with unproven results or oversight.  Maybe I’m too old school, but I do believe the value of relationships is being diminished in a world of technology gone wild.  While I so appreciate the value of having these options during a pandemic, I do believe the lasting effect may be the diminishment of interpersonal relating and intimacy.  I am certain this is also a large contributing factor to the outbreak of overwhelming numbers of people experiencing mental health problems.  Loneliness is toxic.

So maybe waiting for a return to normalcy is not a strategy that is realistic or helpful at this time.  But I do remind myself that returning to normal in the ways we can is a necessary and important coping tool.  “Back to the basics” is what we therapists often rely on when all else is out of control.  Returning to a regular sleep schedule, making sure you get out to walk or move in some way each day, and eating regular healthy food is a foundation for all other health.  It is also imperative at this time to talk to people!  If you can meet in person in a safe way, make it happen.  If you can only zoom or facetime, that is better than nothing.  Try to schedule something on a regular basis to provide structure and have something to count on. Even a game night every Friday or Taco Tuesday with your kids. And if you don’t have those people in your life, see how you can connect to someone new in some way, either joining a group using meetup.com, or volunteering somewhere.  Human contact is a vital and protective measure.

Perhaps we cannot control when and how this pandemic will change our future, but for now, we do need to find some calm amid the storm.  Our globe has been shaken, but we can help one another and ourselves by creating moments and routines that will allow the swirling whirl to settle.  Eat a nice meal, put on some soothing music or a funny movie, and hold tight to those you love.  Create your own little world of serenity in which you can safely shelter together.