The inspiration for this post is a lovely gift my sister in law got us for the holiday, a snow globe.  This lovely glass ball has a serene idyllic winter scene inside, with barren birch trees rooted in a light layer of fallen white snow.  But when you pick it up and give it a shake, the globe comes to life with sparkling glitter, creating the movement and wonder of a magical swirling snow storm.  It never fails to bring a smile to my face, watching the transformation from the stillness of a deadened winter day to an active and vibrant holiday spectacle.

It got me thinking about the act of shaking things up.  What a great metaphor as we head into the winter solstice and the New Year.  So many people find themselves in the doldrums, eating and sleeping like a bear transitioning to hibernation.  We get lulled in our routines and stuck in the boredom of each day feeling like the next, passively waiting for Spring.  But what if we could do something different now?

Unfortunately when most people feel stuck in a rut, they feel they have to make big changes, with drastic consequences.  These are usually expensive and difficult, leaving us feeling denied or stuck in dreariness as we “come to our senses.”  But not all change has to be so big and drastic in order to add a little bit of spice to our lives.  Experts often find that even small little changes or actions can expand our horizons, increase our energy, and spark a sense of newness and wonder that leads to a creativity spark and a sense of renewal.   

After an extensive review of the literature (ok, a few clicks on a google search), I have compiled a list of some ideas to consider giving a try:

–Ask a person you don’t know very well to coffee or lunch.  For us introverts, this can seem daunting, but it can open up a new relationship and new conversations, expanding your world or at least your comfort zone

-Re-arrange your furniture.  Sometimes, just shifting your existing space can make it feel new and fresh, orienting you to new views and perspectives

-Alter your schedule.  By waking up early if you tend to sleep late, or vice versa, or even shifting the order of when you do what, you can get a new sense of energy in an old activity.  Go for your walk in the brisk light of morning instead of doing it after a long day of work, for example.

–Take a class or try a new activity.  There is so much DIY online, with little need to commit your time or supplies. Make a new cocktail or try to make soap, and then share it with your friends.

–Test drive a fun car.  Have a thrill and take it for a spin.

-Plan an outing to a nearby destination.  How often do out-of-town guests discover something right in our own backyard they found in a travel blog? Try looking at your own town through the eyes of a visitor.

–Talk to strangers.  While standing on line at the store or checking your mail, ask someone how their day is or compliment their clothing.  Engaging with people around us stimulates a bit of freshness in stale activities.

-Perform a Random Act of Kindness.  I know it sounds cliche, but bringing someone flowers or paying the toll of the car behind can bring a little boost of adrenaline and endorphins to your brain.  It literally gives you a high!

-Contact an old friend.  Sometimes an old friend can bring back a new feeling of connection.

-Swap things with someone else.  We can get bored with our own dishes or sweaters. Hosting a clothing or any kind of item swap can bring some laughs.  Someone else’s old thing is our new thing.

-Try a different route.  When we drive the same way to the same places all the time, we stop looking.  Plan a little extra time and take a new route.  You will notice more and maybe discover something new.

Okay, okay, you get the idea.  None of these ideas are earth shattering (but they also won’t cause others to think you’re experiencing a mid-life crisis, either).  But they are all activities that, with just a little effort, in some way promote a sense of newness or an opportunity to rediscover from a new perspective what is already there.  But isn’t that the secret of the snow globe?  No shattering is necessary to bring on the magic,  just a good shake.

At this time of year, most people, especially women, are focusing on all the gifts to be given to make friends, family, and co-workers feel appreciated.  We write cards, bake, and have a constant eye out for someone we may have missed in our calculations and lists.  Did I forget my daughter’s coach or my son’s tutor?  Do I need to get a gift for my mother’s caregiver or a support person?  I love how this process helps us notice the many people in our lives and all the ways we are a part of an interdependent caring community.  But there is usually one person we tend to neglect and it may be the most important gift of all…ourselves. Holiday season is the time a gift of self caring may be what we need the most.

Let me give you my personal example that inspired this post. I am a planner.  I make lists, lists of my lists, and have more than one calendar.  (Yes, it’s true.)  Ok, I’m a bit of an obsessive, needing to feel a sense of control having written everything down and knowing what is coming in the days and weeks ahead.  Even on my day’s’ off, I have a plan, filling the day with activities. But inside, lately, there is this little voice that speaks to me wishing for a day with absolutely no plan.  What would it be like to stay in bed as long as I like and have absolutely nothing to do all day?  The truth is, it’s been quite possible. I do have days off and my kids are now grown.  I could do it.  But the key has been that I haven’t given myself permission to do it as it feels too indulgent.

Is there a little voice inside your head wishing for something?  For some people the voice is screaming loudly, but for others it may be a faint whisper easy to miss.  Like me, it may make you uncomfortable.  The first step is to keep an ear out for it.  Like you do for everyone else, listen for a clue of something you are wanting or needing.  It may not come as a conscious thought, it may be a passing sensation, daydream, or even a feeling of envy for what someone else may be doing.  (Ok, for me, it was a judgmental thought of “It must be nice for those people who have nothing to do.”)  You can’t fulfill your desire until you know what it may be and give it space to be heard.

To get you started, here are some themes for what to listen for.  One theme is a need or desire to learn about yourself or acquire a new skill.  Sometimes there’s a secret urge to try something, but we worry about failing or looking silly. We let the potential of embarrassment or shame get in the way of taking a risk to expand ourselves in some way.  Is there a little voice longing to take a voice lesson when you sing in the shower?  A feeling of wanting to join a group to hear other’s perspectives of people who have been through a similar experience?  Especially as adults, we often ignore our own need for support or guidance or the chance to be a beginner.

Another theme is peace of mind or permission to let go of something, even just temporarily.  Sometimes we worry and ruminate about something with a belief that if we don’t focus on it, something worse will happen.  For example, someone I work with feels so guilty about a past mistake she reminds herself of it most every day.  In talking about it, she realized that she worries if she were to allow herself to stop thinking about it, it meant she didn’t care that she hurt someone.  Giving herself permission to forgive herself and trust she had learned from her experience was a liberating and loving thing to do.

And of course another big theme is time.  How many times do you find yourself saying, “someday, when I have time, I’d like to…”  When and where on the calendar is “some day”?  If you’ve found it, let me know.  I keep thinking the following year will have my “some day,” but it doesn’t seem to appear.  Certainly we don’t have the time for all of our goals, but what are the ones most important to you?  Is there a recurring idea that might really make a difference in your quality of life if “some day” was scheduled now? 

The fact is, the biggest barriers to our secret desires are usually of our own making.  Frequently it’s an old belief or judgment that is threatened by our move to change in some way. So this is where holiday indulgence comes in.  Give yourself the gift to say it out loud and do it!  Start with just one thing this giving season.  Try it on and see how it feels.  “Just this once” is still very much under control, with no need to worry about it becoming a selfish way of life.  But maybe, just maybe, it may become an important habit to allow yourself something every once and while.  And if you need my help, I will be there.  Just make sure it’s not on my day of doing nothing. But don’t worry, I am sure I can plan around it!