As one of my client’s put it this week, “The good news is I got my vaccine and soon things will be back to normal.  But the bad news is I got my vaccine and soon things will go back to normal.”  What she talked about is exactly what I think a lot of people are feeling right now.  That after over a year of being isolated and in various forms of lock down, it’s kind of scary to go back to the hustle and bustle of life.  Even if there are things we couldn’t wait to do, longed to do, even dreamed of doing, it’s a bit awkward to come out of our cocoons again.  It’s a natural part of being human.  We adapted when things locked down, and now we must adapt to things opening up and re-enter the world of driving in traffic, eating at restaurants, going to gyms, and maybe even a movie theater.

I’ve been working at home for over a year now.  Since my co-workers are mostly all vaccinated, my boss asked me to come into the Health Center to give a training to front line staff members.  Although I’ve worked at my Center for over 6 years, I was nervous!  I couldn’t sleep the night before, I left the house super early so I wouldn’t be late, I worried I wouldn’t know where to park or where the office they wanted me to work from was, and worried about who I would know and how things had changed.  And as I pulled up and used my ID Badge (which took me time to find) it all felt so familiar and yet so strange.  

For many people, the slower more isolated life was actually more comfortable.  Especially people I know who have some anxiety or social phobia tendencies.  The longer they’ve been away from social interactions and venturing out of the house, the harder it feels to go back.  And things have changed, there are new rules and new protocols that make us nervous about going somewhere familiar that is now unfamiliar.  It’s been an extremely stressful year with a lot to be anxious about, so most of us have been anxious in some way for a long time.  We worked to cope by finding joys in small things, mostly more quiet and calm, that we found solace in.  It’s hard to think of suddenly letting go of our safety nets and rushing out to embrace the wide world again.  I have heard so many parents complain about their kids acting out and not wanting to go back to school.  Especially for children, the last year has been a big portion of their young lives!

In examining this re-entry phenomena (a term often used to describe soldiers coming back from war or explorers coming back from an expedition), Julia Samuel, author of This Too Shall Pass writes:  “Most of us have an uncomfortable relationship with change because familiarity gives us a false sense of security and control – its an evolutionary defense mechanism.”  It took a lot of effort to get ourselves used to a strange world of Zoom calls and social distancing, reading facial expressions behind masks and finding new things to do on Saturday nights.  It’s unreasonable to expect that we can just jump right back into the life of our old social selves again without discomfort.  For one thing, we aren’t the same people we were before the pandemic began.  According to one study by the UCL, only 9% of people surveyed planned to return to living exactly as we did before COVID hit.  Many have re-evaluated aspects of life and how we want to live it. There is no way that we can go through the experience of having life so suddenly shut down without forever being changed by this effect on our perceptions of predictability and vulnerability.

So be easy on yourself and take it slow.  It helps to acknowledge your anxiety as a first step to taking back some control.  Plan some small outings with people you tend to feel safe with or places you have enjoyed and felt comfortable.  Ease yourself back into life and note what felt good and what was uncomfortable for you.  Keep doing these small things until they become much less stressful before you move on to bigger outings or larger gatherings.  It will be much easier to get overstimulated as you are re-entering, so don’t expect yourself to make up for lost time by making too many plans or promises.

If I take a step back, it’s almost amusing at how many of the simplest skills I have to relearn!  I’ve had a lockdown wardrobe that is pretty much a comfort based selection and a routine that moves much more slowly.  I forgot what outfits I used to wear to go out, what jewelry was my go to, what route I took to get to the coffee shop and what to say to people even in the simplest of circumstances.  It just shows how our brains work that after so many years of my life, after just one year of doing it a different way, I have unlearned so much!  But the good news is generally how easily it will come back.  I did feel a great sense of relief after my day at work, knowing the next time will be easier.  In fact, I’m planning to ask if I can book office space (the medical staff are now using most of the offices to socially distance with patients) once a week, just to build up my professional muscle again.  This muscle has definitely gotten a bit soft in the past year, working from the comfort of home with my kitten sitting in my lap all day.  If only there was a way to take him with me as my re-entry emotional support animal!