So congratulations! We did it! In my last post we took Action and made our change after time spent avoiding, deliberating, and preparing. And now we are in Stage 5, the Maintenance Stage. Sounds so easy, doesn’t it? Just maintain, keep the status quo, as if the work is done. But unfortunately, as we all know from past attempts at change, it ain’t all that easy. The Maintenance Stage is hardly a passive “just keep it up” phase. It actually involves a lot of work and a continued hypervigilance to avoiding the dreaded relapse. So in this post, we’ll take a look at some strategies to keeping on keeping on.

Maintainers must learn to successfully navigate temptation.  It helps to remind yourself of the progress you’ve made and acknowledge the time that’s gone by as a way of keeping the momentum.  Mark milestones, such as days of the new pattern – the first week, the first month, etc.  Reminding yourself of the work already put in helps to avoid the temptation to break the chain.  It’s also important to remind yourself of the importance of the change, as this may tend to fade over time.  Keeping tangible reminders of the meaning and significance of your change can be good motivation.  Sometimes just having a bracelet with a word on it, posting a list of why you are changing on your desk, or having a meaningful photo in your line of site can be a good pick me up at a low point.   

Maintainers need to be adaptable. You must be able to reformulate the rules of living and acquire new skills as needed to deal with unexpected challenges as they present themselves.  For example, a vacation or a change in routine can throw you a curveball.  In order to maintain a change, it requires planning ahead, anticipating where you will most likely face challenges, and then coming up with workable strategies to adapt to them. You might need to pack some of your own food, some coping tools (such as a book, a knitting project, or other distractions), or do some research about resources that will be available in your new environment.  For example, you may want to find a place you can go to get exercise or attend an AA meeting on a trip. Whatever the need is, to maintain your change, how can you take care of you in your new situation? 

Maintaining requires a lot of patience with yourself, as it takes time to let go of old habits and replace them with new ones.  It can be discouraging when you’ve stuck to a plan for so long to  be so easily pulled into desires that you thought you had put behind you.  There are some definite warning signs to look out for in order to Maintain.  Beware of the word “just.”  It usually represents some sort of way you are trying to fool yourself.  “I can have just one cigarette,” or “I can skip my medication just for a few days,” are some examples of how our own mind can play tricks on us!  Just really?  And also beware of romanticizing your old behavior.  “Remember when I drank tequila?  I was so funny!”  Or “I was able to get so much more done when I went to bed at 2 am.”  You tend to remember a distorted image and forget what led you to need to make the change in the first place.  It wasn’t worth the cost, whatever the habit was, as you had decided to make a change.  Remind yourself about the flip side of the coin and why you had decided the old way didn’t work.  

And finally, Maintaining requires assertiveness skills.  There will be countless people who will pressure you to go back to your old habit.  “Oh, you don’t like my cooking?” or “Come on join us, what’s the harm.”  It can be hard to say no and risk feeling like you are rejecting someone or refusing a kind gesture.  But Maintenance involves a commitment to yourself.  It involves internalizing permission to put what you determine is healthiest for you above what someone else may want.  Maintainers have to navigate how to set boundaries that are flexible enough to get along in the world, but firm enough to keep true to their goals.  See what I mean?  Maintaining is indeed a lot of work, but the good news is, you get a big reward.  Not only do you get the change you desired, but you get the confidence and pride that comes along with being successful at it!

Maintenance (Stage 5) – having reached a goal now taking steps to maintain it Primary Task:  Developing necessary skills to keep the change and avoid relapse