While my last post focused on the Pre-Contemplation phase of change (Stage 1), when you tend to avoid and deny the need for change, a shift into Stage 2, Contemplation,  is achieved when you gain an awareness and acceptance of this need.  But now that you’re considering the change, the pros and cons are in constant consideration.   The hallmark of Contemplation is ambivalence, a back and forth of conflicting emotions regarding whether or not it’s worth taking action toward the change you now accept should be made.  Like riding a swing, Contemplators go back and forth and back and forth, spending a lot of energy, but not actually going anywhere just yet. 

Contemplators are more aware of the personal consequences of a bad habit and are able to think about the possibilities of change.  They may be more open to seeing the negative aspects of their behavior and the positives that would come with a change, yet, they doubt if the long term benefits will be worth the cost.  As the desire for change gets more real, so does the awareness of what may get in the way.  The good news is that Contemplators increasingly are open to information about their specific problem, such as reading books or going to websites, and are more open to discussing and reflecting on their conflicting thoughts and feelings.

The challenge to Contemplators is getting stuck in “all talk and no action.”  How many times have we made a plan, talked with our friends about it over and over again, but never put the plan into action?  We get stuck in the ambivalence, wanting change but not having the confidence or motivation quite up to breaking the impasse.  Contemplation can be thought of as the thinking phase, where we think and think about doing something.  For some people the thinking may lead to eventual doing, but for some people, thinking is as far as they may ever get.

This can be frustrating, both within ourselves and with others.  When you’re with a Contemplator, it’s natural to want to push them into action.  Enough already, we want to tell them, or tell ourselves: “Stop talking and do something!”  In order to support someone in Contemplation, it’s best not to become judgmental, but to ask questions that aim to build confidence and highlight the benefits.  For example it may be good to ask about why change is desired, what is preventing change, and what could help them make a small step in the direction of the change.  In Contemplation, supporting a person in gathering more information, exploring answers to any questions, and tipping the balance toward the benefits of change vs the cost is most helpful.  Supporting  a Contemplator look at change as a process of gaining something, emotional, mental, or physical, rather than giving up something may encourage them to move them past their ambivalence.

Riding the back and forth of whether or not to make a change is uncomfortable.   And yet, at this point, it may feel more comfortable than taking the risk of actual change.  As I look at journals about my News Year’s Resolutions over the past years, I can clearly see my own pattern of Contemplation.  In just reading them I want to strangle the part of me that blabs on and on about all I’m going to do, clearly not doing it, as there it is again in next year’s goals. At some point I hope to get up enough speed with my efforts to launch myself off the swing!  But until I do, at least I have a fancy name for my process.  I’m not doing nothing…I’m Contemplating.

Stage 2: Contemplation – Sees the possibility of change but is amivalent and uncertain. Primary Task:  Resolving ambivalence, choosing change.