Last night was the first night of Chanukah, which celebrates the Jews defeating Syrian-Greek oppressors who had tried forcing them to abandon their religion and adopt Greek culture.  Led by Judah Maccabee, they recaptured the holy temple in Jerusalem. When arriving there they found only enough olive oil to light the holy eternal flame for one night, but it lasted miraculously for eight nights, giving them time to replenish it.  Hence, the holiday is known as the “Festival of Lights.” Ultimately, to me this is a story about resilience: the little drop of oil that persevered for eight nights and the people who persevered in recapturing their temple and continuing their faith.

With the New Year approaching this is a perfect time to think about resilience.  In reflecting on the past year, most of us lament about the goals we didn’t achieve and the ways we didn’t measure up.  Then in drawing up resolutions for next year, we continue the theme of harping on everything we failed at and pledge to correct them all.  But what about all the things we did right? What about all the small and big challenges that we overcame, both daily and throughout the year?  Some years the wind is in your favor and you can travel far downstream. But some years the headwinds are so strong you may paddle your little heart out and seem like you didn’t get anywhere at all. We can miss the resilience and success in keeping yourself from having been blown off course.  

Resilience is defined by the US Department of Health and Human Services as “the ability to withstand, adapt to, and recover from adversity and stress.”  Resilience is about using coping strategies to maintain, return to, or possibly even mature in your mental health and well being. I am sure if you think about your 2019, you will discover many ways in which you were quite successful in overcoming hardships.  In case you are having trouble, here are a few elements that researchers have found that contribute to resilience.

-Optimism:  staying positive about the future even when faced with big obstacles

-Altruism:  helping others is a way to boost your mood and sense of efficacy

– Moral compass: holding on to a set of beliefs about what is right and wrong -Humor: laughing at your own misfortune

-Social Supports: allowing yourself to be vulnerable and stay connected  

-Facing Fear: being willing to leave your comfort zone and confront their fear  

-Meaning in Life:  having a sense of purpose allows us to persevere  

-Training: receiving feedback and using it to improve, having a growth mindset  

Now pat yourself on the back for getting through, raise a glass and toast your perseverance, and applaud your ability to overcome all that you did.  You have had many successes this year, so give yourself credit for how you got by. And perhaps in setting goals for 2020, you can resolve to highlight and enhance your skills in resilience.  It truly will be the gift that keeps on giving!!