While we’re still digesting turkey and pie, the world quickly shifts to Christmas (although it’s been Christmas at Costco since Halloween.)  And with the way the lunar calendar falls out, Hanukah is practically here, the first night being December 2nd! With wildfires and hurricanes and political fall out, there is a darkness that hangs over this season, possibly for you, but most assuredly for someone you love.  It can be a lonely time for people, and compounding it, people who care may hold back from reaching out, simply out of discomfort of not knowing what to say or what to do. In thinking about this, I found a great resource to help us all stay connected and supportive this season.

#OptionBThere is a website that offers tips and support for people going through loss or hard times and for the people that care about them during the holidays.  It is a timely edition of the larger OptionB, which is a website based on the book written by Sheryl Sandberg (of Facebook) and her experience of losing her husband suddenly.  Worried about raising a son alone, she consulted experts about how to build resilience after tragedy. From the book, she began the website that offers guidance and ways to connect with others. They have literally hundreds of articles and support group options for everything from grief and loss, incarceration, divorce and separation, health and injury, abuse and sexual assault, and LGBQT facing rejection.  

One of the best gifts you can give this holiday season is to be there for friends and loved ones who are separated from family, coping with loss, or going through other challenges. Small gestures of love and support—from heartfelt cards to thoughtful conversations—go a long way.  #OptionBThere

Some good tips from #OptionBThere include offering practical help to someone, including grocery shopping, cleaning, cooking, or helping them manage purchasing gifts.  They also have ways to greet someone with sensitivity and words of caring, such as simply saying, “I’m here for you this holiday season.” They even have a series of holiday cards you can send for no cost via e-mail.  I was impressed that Papyrus partnered to develop these cards (it’s nice to know that’s where your eight dollars a card at Target goes).

Personally, this is my first holiday season without either of my parents.  I already feel an emptiness. While I know it will be an honor to carry on some of the traditions my parents started for us (grab bags for each night of Chanukah followed by a visit from Santa the last night?), there is a bittersweetness.  What #OptionBThere offers is a way to help people create a holiday that works for them. There is even a section advising how to “declare Your Holiday Bill of Rights.” I found it helpful just to know what I am feeling is normal and how to express it without bringing others down.

While nothing can replace someone you love or take away the losses you experience, feeling the supportive presence of others is a huge help. So please, take the time to read through #OptionBThere and share it with people you know. And if you really feel the giving spirit, go ahead and make a donation. In the words of Option B:  “show your friends and loved ones that you’re there for them – and that you understand how they’re really feeling this holiday season.  Blah-la-la-la-la,la-la,la, la!”