I came across a phrase this week that I wanted to share, as it describes an inspiring phenomena that I have been fortunate to witness, especially this past year.  The term is “post traumatic growth” and according to the research group who named it, it refers to a “positive change experienced as a result of a struggle with a major life crisis or a traumatic event.”  

According to the PTG researchers at the University of North Carolina, post traumatic growth tends to come in five general areas.  Some people who go through a major life crisis realize that opportunities emerge through the struggle, creating new possibilities that were not available before.  Some people find their relationships change, making them feel  closer to specific people and a greater sense of connection to others who are hurting.  A third area of change possible is an increased awareness of one’s own strength, developing a confidence from surviving something traumatic.  A fourth area is a greater appreciation for life in general, and a fifth is a deepening of spiritual awareness.  This shift is not necessarily in expected ways, as sometimes people experience a significant change in their belief systems as a consequence of a deepening spiritual awakening.

Distress and significant pain come with crises and unfortunately, few of us can avoid the inevitability of some type of major life event.  If we are living and loving we will face loss and random misfortunes that create physical and/or emotional chaos.  In no way is anyone implying that traumatic events are good, for I wish no one ever had to have have one.  But I have noticed and been tremendously moved in watching people come through a tragedy with new insight or skills that can have a positive effect in their lives.  I have witnessed friends suffer through cancer and treatment only to express deep emotional healing from the experience as it brought up many areas of their lives that needed attending to.  I am working with a woman who became homeless, literally having to sleep in her car in order to keep her cat.  She shocked me when she came in smiling, telling me that her back pain was much better since she was sleeping in an upright position, and that she in many ways hadn’t felt so good in a very long time.  She is going to get a special bed, she tells me, when she gets back to having a home.

Just as we can’t predict when a tragedy will occur, or how we will react to it, it makes me feel hopeful to know that suffering and growth are not mutually exclusive.  If I have to go through a horrible event, at least I can know that I can both suffer and experience positive change through the process.  As we support friends and family overcoming something difficult, it might help us to feel less helpless to know that people can and do experience positive transformation in a profoud way.