I love Thanksgiving, not only for the food, family, and football, but for the corny part where we go around the table and ask each person to share what they are thankful for.  It always makes me feel good to hear people acknowledge and appreciate the gifts we might ordinarily take for granted and makes me more mindful of things I might overlook.  As positive psychology research shows, this exercise of thankfulness is one we should definitely do more than once a year.  It turns out, expressing gratitude is a powerful tool to improve our sense of well being and to decrease depression and anxiety.  This weeks post will explore the benefits of a gratitude list (made famous by Oprah, who else), but will also propose a challenge to kick your gratitude up a notch for maximum impact!

Our brains have been wired to scan the environment for potential threat.  Therefore, in this modern world, where threats seem to be a continuous experience (a facebook post where you see you were excluded or an e-mail from your boss) rather than a one time predator, we can spend most of our day piling on worrisome layers.  We then reinforce the neural loop pathways for negativity and this can lead to depression and anxiety that really affects our quality of life.  The antidote?  We need to train our brain to find the good, balancing our world view of danger.  The gratitude list is one such tool, highlighted in the work of positive psychologists looking for simple ways to increase life satisfaction and happiness.  As many of you know, by simply listing three to five things each day that you feel grateful for you can significantly make a difference in your mental health.

But do you want to really feel the gratitude?  Martin Seligman, in his research on positive psychology, had a gratitude task so powerful, the effects lasted for over a month! (Compare that to your after dinner cocktail or piece of pumpkin pie).  It is called the Gratitude Visit.  First start by thinking of someone in your life who made a real difference to you but whom you never had the time or perspective to thank.  It is best if this is someone who lives near enough to you so that you can visit them.  Then, write a letter, of at least 300 words, expressing what, in detail, they did specifically that made a difference in your life, and how this mattered to you.  Then call them up and ask if you can come by.  Don’t tell them why until you are there in person, and then read them the letter.  It is quite a powerful experience and will make you feel, oh, so good.  If you can’t visit, at least make a time to read it over the phone.  (Mail or e-mail is not as good, as it limits the connection and contact.)

Kent State Professor, Steve Toepfer, replicated Seligman’s findings.  He reports that his participants “experienced enhanced levels of life satisfaction and happiness, as well as decreased symptoms of depression.”  Not only did participants feel better about life in general, but they felt a much stronger sense of social connection and decreased isolation.

So as the holiday season rolls forward and the days get shorter, try a new holiday tradition that costs you little and brings you a lot.  Write a letter and share it with someone deserving.  Your good feeling should last you into the New Year!

***Note:  While today is Cyber Monday, don’t forget about GIVING TUESDAY.  It is a fairly new tradition and a global movement fueled by social media.  You can give of your time, money, or other donations.  Last year, 700,000 people from 70 countries donated $116,000,000 worldwide.  Please, check it out:   www.givingtuesday.org  or   #GivingTuesday