Our biggest wish for our children is that no matter what they choose to do that they will “be happy.”  Many clients coming to therapy tell me that they need to figure out what to do in order to “be happy.”  Even the music on the radio tells us not to worry, but to “be happy.”  There is so much focus on happiness, but how many of us have really thought through what happiness is and what it takes to get there?  Fortunately, the field of Positive Psychology developed with just this goal in mind.

My old Professor, Dr. Seligman, studied depression.  Then, based on feedback from his own family members regarding his grumpiness (and he was) he decided to study happiness.  It became the first time that traditional psychology shifted from studying pathology and what went wrong with people’s psyche to what could go right.  What made some people happier and more resilient than the rest of us?  After decades of analyzing questionnaires, Seligman and his group concluded that happiness could be divided into three dimensions.

The first level of happiness is The Pleasant Life.  This refers to the times we enjoy and savor the pleasures of life, such as a good meal, a new car, or the companionship of someone or being in nature.  These are basic pleasures that feel good.  The only problem with this type of happiness is that it is fleeting. We feel good for a while, but it ebbs and flows depending on the experience in the moment;  eventually the new car isn’t so new.

Next, then, is the Good Life level of happiness, which is felt at a deeper level and is more lasting.  This happiness is derived when we use our “unique virtues” to creatively enhance our lives.  The  six virtues he classified (which he breaks down into 24 signature strengths) are understood more like values as opposed to talents.  He and his colleagues derived them from extensive studies of many cultures and are valued not as means to an end, but in their own right.  They are: Wisdom and Knowledge (curiosity, love of learning, judgment, ingenuity, emotional intelligence, perspective) Courage (valor, perseverance, integrity), Love & Humanity (kindness, loving), Justice (citizenship, fairness, leadership), Temperance (self-control, prudence, humility),  and Transcendence (appreciation of beauty and excellence, gratitude, hope, spirituality, forgiveness, humor, zest).  Living in ways that are in line with and utilize your unique signature strengths creates lasting happiness, more akin to gratification than pleasure.  

The highest level, or the Meaningful Life, involves the development of your virtues and strengths in service of something bigger than yourself.  It involves connecting to community or culture in a way that brings about the deepest levels of satisfaction from your virtues.  So, for example, you may get great pleasure from looking at the stars.  If you are someone whose virtue is Wisdom and Knowledge, then studying the cosmos will bring you life satisfaction.  And if you can find a way to teach or contribute to the astronomical community, this may bring the highest level of gratification in a more transcendent way.

The thing about authentic happiness is that it isn’t easy.  It takes time and effort to cultivate, as opposed to eating a bowl of Hagen Daz (which is pretty pleasurable).  Anything meaningful is going to take work.  But the good news, research shows, is that authentic happiness can be learned.  We can cultivate it and teach ourselves to be happy.  So here’s a nice change of pace – focus your energy on your strengths instead of your weaknesses.  Use your signature strengths to compensate for your weaknesses, and in doing so you will be intrinsically more gratified and enjoy the process.  In other words, you will be happier!

**To identify your signature strengths, take the test!  Go to www.authentichappiness.com.  Then learn more about how to make yourself happier by aligning your life with your strengths.