When our brain seems to be running wild with anger, stress, anxiety, or a desire for a drink, cigarette, or ice cream sundae, it seems no match for words like “no” or“stop.” But actually, a mindfulness technique of choosing the right words can be extremely helpful in corralling our primitive urges. The technique of “name it to tame it,” which encourages us to explore our experience and use words to express what we are feeling in the moment, actually has a lot of power in helping us gain control over our behavior. (Thanks to my esteemed colleague Rossana Hart, LMFT for this inspiring this one).

When we are stressed, our brains are in overdrive, engaging the flight/fight or anxiety response. This leads us to discharge energy, such as yelling at our spouse, or calm ourselves by eating or drinking. If we can intervene, stopping short our fight/flight response, we can make better decisions. When you name your sensations, such as “I am angry,” or “I am tense,” or “I feel like a failure,” you engage your left brain and activate competing brain circuits to counteract the fight/ flight anxiety loop, often quickly taking the edge off of your experience.

Brain scans actually show that putting negative emotions into words calms the brain’s emotion center and people report being able to let go of the negative feeling.  UCLA psychologist Matthew Lieberman was able to watch the brain functioning of people by using an MRI scan as they looked at pictures of males and female faces making emotional expressions. Underneath some of the photos were a choice of words describing the emotions, such as angry or fearful, or two possible names for the people, one male and one female. When making the choice of an emotion word, the imaging showed activation in the areas of the brain associated with thinking in words about emotional experience, while activity in the brain’s amygdala, involving emotional reactivity, actually calmed. In contrast, when choosing a person’s name for each picture, none of this activity appeared. In his article in Psychological Science, Lieberman concluded that his study showed the brain activity mechanisms by which identifying our emotions truly helps us overcome the power they hold over us.

In order to avoid getting stuck in habitual patterns of thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that aren’t good for you, and in some cases are harmful, arm yourself with your vocabulary. When activated, take a moment and start to notice, and then describe, what you feel.

Tell yourself the story of your physical sensations, your thoughts, and what emotions you are aware of.  You will be surprised at the range of experiences you can have at the same time!  Them once you identify them, notice their intensity.  Has it changed?  Have you tamed your sugar craving beast or your tantrum seeking inner child?  Just like when we were little, “using your words” is still the best way to get what you want in the long run.