With Groundhog’s Day (great movie, by the way) upon us, I thought it was the perfect time to think about shadows.  In psychology, the shadow is a fascinating concept that is both mysterious and complex.  And while I can’t promise that seeing your shadow will help you predict the weather like old “Punxsutawney Phil” in Pennsylvania, I do know from experience that facing your shadow can help you live more fully, even if you don’t know when Spring is coming.

The shadow, according to depth psychology, is the collection of characteristics you don’t like or can’t accept about yourself, and therefore tend to push aside and do not see. The shadow begins in childhood and develops throughout your life.  As you grow up, certain traits and behaviors are rewarded and praised by parents, teachers, and people who matter to you.  These traits become associated with your identity and an image of yourself, such as being honest or kind.  In order to maintain a consistent sense of self, any thoughts and feelings strongly incompatible with these traits, such as vengeful thoughts or jealous feelings, are cast aside from awareness, or repressed, making up your shadow.

The problem is these unacceptable thoughts and feelings live on despite your denial of them.  When you repress a trait into the shadow, you lose the ability to consciously explore it and use it skillfully.  Therefore, it tends to come out in ways that you aren’t in control of, such as repressed anger erupting as a tantrum or slipping in as passive aggressive behavior.  The more you try to see yourself as one particular trait, the more of your whole self and your range of experience you lose.  In other words, the brighter the sun, the bigger the shadow.

Psychological health and flexibility involves being able to experience a variety of thoughts and feelings, even conflicting ones.  Otherwise, your shadow may result in psychological symptoms, such as anxiety or depression.  Or it may result in behavior that could undermine your efforts in love and work.  Interestingly, the shadow is not only made up of what we think of as negative traits.  You can also repress parts of yourself that may be positive, such as high esteem if you grow up in a house where you taught not to be “prideful,” or ambition when you highly value yourself as a “giving” person.

Your shadow can be an important source for finding balance in your life:  between being lazy and driven, fearful and courageous, deceptive and honest, insecure and confident, or rational and irrational.  Learning to tolerate your conflicting emotions can actually help you make peace with yourself and be more tolerant and compassionate with others.  It can also make your life richer and more interesting.  In fact, the shadow can be a great muse in artful expression or creativity. So join the groundhog, climb out of your hole and look for your shadow.  It may just surprise you how much fun it can be in the sun!

Note:  With Valentine’s Day approaching, my next blog will focus on how to identify and work with your shadow, especially in relationships with those we love (and hate 😉