When envisioning the change you want, it feels great to dream big:  picturing yourself 20 pounds thinner, completely smoke free, or driving to your new job.  These images get you excited and motivate you to take action.  The problem with dreams, however, is that the bigger they are, the scarier they are.  The reality of what it will take to get to your dream (restricting your diet for months on end, never, ever having another cigarette, or leaving behind financial stability) can overwhelm you and cause even the most dedicated person to panic.  So while it’s motivating to dream big, it’s also important to plan small.  Break down your long term journey into manageable steps that enable you to stay on the path.

There’s a good reason for the phrase “one day at a time.”  Human nature makes it awfully hard for us to imagine giving up something forever or making a change we will have to stick to for the “rest of our lives.”  That is a lot of pressure.  Instead, it helps to focus on the immediate day at hand, offering us a challenge that feels possible.  One day turns into another day, which turns into a week, a month, a year.  No matter how near or far off your goal is, you still need to make it through today to get there.

And as you make it through each small success, your confidence grows.  You learn skills in how to get through cravings or setbacks, which further builds your belief in yourself and your ability.  There is no substitute for increasing your confidence than actually doing what you hope you can do.   So when looking at your long term goal, it really helps to break it down and create opportunities for little successes along the way.

For example, a woman in our group wanting to improve her health felt totally overwhelmed when her doctor suggested losing 35 pounds to address her diabetes.  She told everyone that she hadn’t even been able to lose 5 pounds, so she felt completely hopeless about losing 35.  Class members worked with her in creating a plan of smaller actions she did feel she could handle.  For the first week she was to walk 4 days around her neighborhood and stick to her nutrition plan.  Once she had achieved this, she added distance to her walks and made it through a second week of her eating plan.  With that, she had lost a little weight.  She felt more optimistic, so she added another day of exercise and a few more weeks of healthy eating, resulting in a little more weight loss.  At this point, she was surprised to see some actual improvement in her blood sugar levels.  Because of her small successes, she began to see the possibility of actually reaching her goal.  When she hit a plateau, she got discouraged.  Again, committing to what she could do in the short term helped her ride out her fear of failure, and helped her push through it.

So while it’s great to engage the heart in what you most desire, also engage the mind into what is practical.  What can you do this day or this week?  Even if it’s just one phone call to a potential employer, one new healthy recipe, or one time of saying “no” to something you usually say “yes” to, you are making progress.  Big dreams envision the impossible, but small steps make them possible.