We think of laughter, party conversation, Christmas carols, and “ho ho ho” as the lovely sounds of the holiday season.  But in today’s blog post I want to appreciate and encourage you to make some room for silence.  Taking some quiet time can have both calming effects and create space for meaningful experiences that tend to get lost in the noise.

I am as guilty as anyone of turning on the radio or picking up my phone whenever I have a free minute.  It’s almost instinctual now, with so many accessible ways to entertain ourselves and fill our heads with new information.   Because we’re so conditioned to it, however, it’s easy to overlook how this “noise” fills the space about us and, without us even knowing it, creates barriers both between ourselves and other people and between ourselves and our own experience.

In order to get silence, we have to create it.  It can feel strange at first, and even uncomfortable.  Ironically, one of the hardest things to learn as you study to become a therapist is how to tolerate silence and how to “do” or “say” nothing.  Quickly you learn, however, that silence can be a powerful intervention.  When we are quiet, deeper thoughts and feelings come up.  We can allow our minds to follow a progression of images and memories, associations and intuitions.  Without having to put these experiences into words, we can just be in them.  Silence can enhance our connections and creative thinking as we set our minds free of expectations.

Silence also enhances listening.  When we have quiet, we suddenly notice how loud everything is:  the sound of the wind, the ticking of the clock, footsteps in the hallway.  We become more tuned in to the world and the experience of others.  We become better listeners.  Rather than thinking about what we are going to say next, we give our full attention to hear.

Silence also has the magic power of giving us time.  When you’re silent, life seems to slow down.  (Have you ever noticed how a “moment of silence” can feel like a long time?)  Use this power for the sake of good.  Let the worried thoughts that may pop up in silence wash over you and realize they don’t have to take over.  If it helps, give yourself a pleasant experience by remembering someone you loved who is no longer with you, or appreciate something about yourself, your loved ones, or whatever is right around you.

So, along with all the hustle and bustle and loud merriment, try a change this season.  Give yourself some quiet time to connect to what you love.  Silence can be like an empty gift box to fill with whatever delight you desire.