While doing your best to make a lifestyle change, beware of the word “just.”  It usually comes right before an impulsive act of giving in to temptation, such as “just tonight,” “just one,” or “just for now.”  It’s not that I’m advocating that you should never indulge yourself or bend your rules a little bit, it’s “just” that by making a decision to engage in the desired behavior in a more mindful way, you will help yourself both enjoy the behavior and have a greater chance of staying on track for long term change.

It’s normal to have days or evenings when you want to throw caution to the wind and break free from restrictions you’ve put on yourself.  Too often, however, it’s followed by a spell of remorse.  You wake up the next day upset and even angry at yourselves for “being weak” or “screwing up.”  After it’s too late you regret your impulsive behavior and wish you had done things differently.  That’s why it’s so important when making lasting change to watch out for “just” statements and recognize them for what they are, rationalizations.   Temptation rationalizations are a normal part of the change process, but often come at times we’re vulnerable to their pull.  That’s why it’s good to identify them when they happen and recognize them for what they are, “just” thoughts.

Temptation thoughts represent our old way of being and come most often when we’re tired, lonely, upset, or feeling less centered in some way.  They can also be a result of unintended or unexpected peer pressure, wanting to be a part of the group and do what everyone around you is doing.  An important way to deal with “just thoughts” when they happen is first to identify it.  By labeling your “just thought” as a “temptation thought,” you immediately put some distance between you and the potential behavior.  For example, you’re having a bad day and feel very lonely.  You run into your ex-boyfriend who was not a very thoughtful partner.  He shows interest in you and you are flattered.  A little voice inside your head says, “Wouldn’t it feel good to be together with him, just for tonight.”  But then you remind yourself that you have just uttered a “just statement.”  You recognize this as a way of fooling yourself into thinking that it would be fine to spend the evening with this man, forgetting the pain he caused you and the disappointment you would feel in yourself tomorrow.  Instead, you decide since you’ve had a tough day and need some company, you’d be better off calling a friend who makes you laugh or even renting a movie that inspires you.

Sometimes you will decide that you want to go ahead and have the piece of cake or skip the workout, or even smoke the cigarette or have the drink.  Change is not a straight line forward.  But by making a conscious choice, you are being more honest with yourself about your behavior.  In doing so, you give yourself a much better chance to recommit to your goal and truly keep it to the “ just one” you’ve decided on.